May 27, 2006 Europe trip: So, first I have to tell you all about my European adventure. There is a weekly nightclub in San Francisco, (which I rarely get to attend because it goes on til 2 a.m. every Tuesday night) called Trannyshack. (www.Trannyshack.com) This is a drag queen performance club booked and promoted by one of SF’s most well-known drag queens, Heklina. (www.heklina.com) Trannyshack is always completely packed, and has a different theme each week. It’s a lot of fun, and visiting celebrities often pop by. (Gwen Stefani and members of No Doubt, Joan Jett, and Micheal Stipe are just a few that I remember hearing about attending in the past). Anyway, this club is so popular, that it has begun to be copied in other cities and has ended up traveling. It has happened in New York and LA, and it finally made it’s way to LONDON!!!! So, I know quite a few of the eccentric and colorful drag queens who are a part of Trannyshack, and a big entourage of San Francisco people began making plans to perform or go along to vacation around Trannyshack’s London performances. I was at a party about a week and a half before everyone was prepearing for the trip, and after a few drinks and many people saying,“You should come…,” I decided they were right! I made plans in the eleventh hour to go meet them in London and to travel on to Paris, Berlin and Prague with a nice gay guy I know. I wouldn’t have gone if it weren’t for the opportunity to go to the other cities, because I have been to London many times, and wouldn’t be able to rationalize the expense of traveling across the globe just to go back to a city I’ve already been to. I am so glad this opportunity presented itself, because I haven’t been abroad since before September 11th, and I really missed Europe. I had friends to meet up with in London, and was really looking forward to visiting some cities I haven’t been to. LONDON: I left San Francisco on the afternoon of Thursday, March 29, and arrived in London the morning of Friday the 30th. All of my San Francisco friends had already been there for a night or 2, but I did share my flight on Virgin Atlantic with a drag queen perfomer I hadn’t seen in a while named Vinsantos. We gossiped over wine on the flight, and I told him about some interesting things that are different for Americans in London since he had never been. (Pubs close at 11! They measure the alcohol, so you had better hide a bottle somewhere! Napkins are called Cervettes. Pants are really underwear, so if you say you like someone’s pants, you are commenting on their undies! They’re called Trousers. This was all news to him.) When I got to the room I was sharing with my friend Marty around noon on Friday, I freshened up; and then he and I met up our friends Jason El Diablo and Miss Lynda. We all headed over to the London Eye to be tourists! If you are not familiar with the London Eye, it is a gigantic ferris wheel that fits about 10 people per car (the cars look like glass bubbles), and you can see all over London. It is really cool, and I’m glad I decided to join in on doing something touristy for a change, as I usually spend all of my time in London in pubs, clubs, and shops. I never take tours or sightsee! (I am too much of a drunk I guess, but it’s how I always end up making friends in every city.) We took lots of photos in our bubble, and the Eye was right near Big Ben, which is really worth seeing up close I found, because it is architecturally grand. When we were done sightseeing, we grabbed a quick bite at the Tattershall Castle, a boat/restaurant across the water from the Eye, which was pretty cool. I then left my friends and jumped on the tube. (Of couse I got on going the wrong way, jumped off, and got back on the right way.) I finally got where I was going, to meet an old friend who I first met in Dallas when I was fifteen, named Benjie Bollox. It was so much fun to meet up with someone I realize I’ve known for half my life! He took me on a punk rock history tour of London, which was unplanned, but because he is in the middle of writing a book on the history of punk rock, he could not help himself! (This is where Sid Vicious went to parochial school, this is where the Sex Pistols’ Glitterbest’ first office was, etc., etc., etc… There was another point of interest every 3 or 4 minutes!) The first place we went was an old drinking haunt of Joe Strummer’s (The Clash Singer). Benjie had never been there, but always wanted to go. It’s called The Colony Room, and when we got there, we realized it is a private club that is only a small room with a bar, piano, and limited seating, that could probably only fit about 40 people total. We opened the door as though we had been there before, and we both expected to be asked to leave, but the bartender served us and let us stay. They actually had bottles of “Sex Pistols” beer there! That was the first I’d seen that. We went on walking and barhopping all over Soho that night, and we both ended up seeing something that was new to us and made us crack up laughing. I guess so many “blokes” piss on the streets, that the city of London decided to plop down some temporary public urinals outside the pubs! It was the funniest thing to see. You walk down the street and see 4 guys pissing in front of a pub. I walked by the same pub the next day, and the urinal was gone, so they obviously set them out at night, and probably only on the weekend; although I left on Monday, so I can’t be sure. Another thing I found strange in London was that the department store Selfridges, had a whole city block of window displays which were “Punk Rock,” presumably to celebrate Punk’s 30 year Anniversary this year. The mannequins donned safety pins and mohawk wigs! Benjie took a photo of one that had a neon sign reading “London Calling,” (which is the title of a Clash song). Selfridges is one of, if not the oldest department store in London; and he told me that the phrase “the customer is always right,” started there. This is the weirdest thing: they opened up a nightclub under the store, which had a big party to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Punk, called Future Punk. Malcolm Mclaren, Bob Gruen, Don Letts and Julien Temple spoke there, and The Slits, The Buzzcocks and The New York Dolls played. Wow! I wish I could have been there for that! My second day in London, Kitty Kowalski (our NYC Coolgrrrl who is currently living in Stockholm) flew in to meet up with me. I met her and her boyfriend at The World’s End, a big rock pub in Camden by the tube station. Our friend Stacey Dee of the Angry Amputees is currently living in London, and met up with us for a while too. They were nice enough to join me on my shopping quest for hot boots and a new leather jacket. I didn’t find a jacket, which was my main goal for the entire trip, but I found some hot punk rock dominatrix boots that I absolutely love! That night, I met Kitty and her beau at a club called The Garage, for “Punk Rock Karaoke.” I was instantly dissapointed when I arrived though, because I had been to The Garage years ago to see Dee Dee Ramone, and remembered it as a big, cool venue; but the club I met them at was located in a small room upsatirs with a separate entrance, and Nashville Pussy were playing a sold out show downstairs. The people upstairs were mostly normal, tame, older, and uninteresting to me- no one really into today’s punk were there; just a bunch of people to do karaoke on a nostalgia trip. I thought if I were back home, I would never hang out somewhere this lame, and it was Saturday night in London! The one cool thing about being there, was that I met London Coolgrrrl Mira Manga, and we got a photo taken with Kitty. Having 3 of us Coolgrrrls together in one place was a trip! Something that sucks about London is that a lot of gigs end early due to the tube and bus schedules, and people needing to commute home before it is too late for the public transportation. When I realized I wanted to be elsewhere, it was already after 10:30, and I was hard-pressed to find something else to do. I ended up pumping a guy I’d met for information on clubs that were happening until 3 a.m. where I could go. He told me to try the Camden Underworld, which is located under the pub The World’s End, where I had been earlier. It was in a different part of town, but I talked him into going with me, and he found others to join us, and even got us a ride. (The ride was from some guy who had apparently just gotten out of prison and drove like he had a death wish or something to prove! He turned corners going 3 times faster than a sane driver would! I was lying across 3 people’s laps in the backseat, imagining myself flying head-first out the back window. I told them, “It’s going to be so funny when I die in London…!” Luckily, I made it there alive!) We got to the Camden Underworld, and it was huge and packed with people. I was thrilled, as I felt my Saturday night had been salvaged after all. They played a lot of popular Indie Rock like Bloc Party, The Killers, etc., which was pretty cool considering where I’d just come from earlier. I also got to know the fellow I went with, who turned out to be a great new friend, and an excellent escort for the rest of my stay in London. He went shopping with me the next day and even came along to the drag club on Sunday night. The Trannyshack club on Sunday night was at a place called the South Central in an area called Vauxhall. The club night was called “Horse Meat Disco,” and we arrived that night to find big-wigged drag queens and wall-to-wall sweaty men! I enjoyed this, but worried about my willing escort, who was probably more than a little out of his element. It was a lot of fun, the performances were great, and the crowd danced until the club closed. My night ended with my friends and I taking the top level on a double decker bus back to the area where my hotel was. The next day, we hauled our luggage on the tube to Heathrow airport and flew to Paris (which was only $93 per person). PARIS: My friend, Marty and I arrived in Paris and taxied to our hotel to check in and meet our friends Jason and Lynda, who had arrived earlier that day. Jason had booked this hotel, called the Hotel Central Marais, which is a gay hotel, located over a gay bar in an area near many gay clubs. (www.hotelcentralmarais.com) I didn’t know any of this until I got there, but it was quaint and in a lovely area, so I was happy with it. We all ventured out that night to see the Cathedral of Notre Dame, and have dinner at an outdoor heated café that overloooked it. It turns out bars and clubs are open til like 4 or 6 am in Paris, (I can’t rememeber exactly how late now)! After a lovely dinner, we headed to a gay club called Raidd, where they are known for their “shower shows.” I had never been to a shower show before, but I guess many cities have gay clubs with these, where you watch half naked hunks take a shower while you dance and drink cocktails. The club was pretty cool, and the guy in the shower was so well-built, that I must admit, my jaw dropped. He was amazing. My girlfriend and I started snapping photos and were eventually told not to, but we had already gotten several! I met some lovely guys from London, and had a fabulous time. It turned out the shower model who we had all been drooling over was straight, and actually took a liking to me! My gay friends were all dying of jealousy over it! Paris is a beautiful city. It’s buildings are detailed, historic, and awe-inspiring. I hope to get to go back sometime. The highlight of the entire Europe trip for me, was my second day in Paris. We all went to the Cemetery of Père Lachaise, where Jim Morrison is buried; and it was such a beautiful place, I could have spent days there. If it weren’t for my friends wanting to go there, I never would have gone. I am not one who visits cemetaries on vacation normally, but this place was so gorgeous and interesting that I am thrilled we went. We brought cheese, crackers, pate, olives and red wine with us, and had a picnic (until that got busted due to the wine). We wandered around for hours. The Jim Morrison grave wasn’t that interesting, as people long ago stole the bust of his head and it is now blocked off with barricades so you can’t get close to it. What was incredible about the cemetary was the intricate, beautiful stone and iron work from centuries ago. The place was huge, with cobblestones and gardens, and a rich history, which you could feel surround you. It was breathtaking. Many famous composers are also buried there I’m told. For more info, www.paris.org/expos When we finished at the cemetary, we all went to an authentic Parisian café for wine, then went to the Eiffel Tower at night, which was gorgeous with all it’s flickering lights. Unfortunately, by nightfall it was freezing, so we didn’t take any photos. Lynda and I split from the gay boys to have dinner and then venture out into the straight scene. We wandered into a bar where I met a guy who invited us to a nightclub with him. We went along, and I danced the night away. Drinks were $10 a piece, which I thought was crazy. I met 3 guys who were all vying for my attention, which ended up being rather amusing. One invited me to a fabulous party for the designer Alexander McQueen, which I really wanted to attend the following night, but it didn’t end up working out with all my other plans. Also, I was getting a cold before I left the states and it was really beginning to catch up with me, which put a gray cloud over the rest of my trip, which I did my best to ignore. The next day was my last in Paris, and I was feeling very sick, but went to The Louvre for a few hours. I am so glad I dragged myself there, because it was truly special to me. I saw a Michealangelo in person, and many amazing paintings. I saw the Mona Lisa, which I didn’t care as much about as many less famous works; but I felt I could have spent days in the Louvre. Later that night, I ventured out looking for the rock scene in Paris. I am not sure if they have one! I ended up at a place called Pulp, where I got 2 free drink tickets at entry. They played electronic dance and had a really bad live rock band. I also went to a bar called Rose’s, where the sign over the door simply reads “bar” and the walls are covered in fur. It was a crazy little dive full of character. I met one of the strangest characters there who was Irish, and had horns for hair and was wearing hardly any clothing. I should also mention he was kind of old and saggy and had no business being in public looking the way he did, except maybe at a gay street fair! (I really should have photographed him, but for those of you familiar with Psychobilly bands, he looked like he could have been a member of the band The Klingonz… in 2015). BERLIN: The next day, my friend and I headed to Berlin on a train. I was exhausted, and instead of enjoying the scenery between Paris and Berlin, we both ended up napping. We arrived in the evening, and after settling in at our hotel, we went to a gay bar, which was a posh little lounge, called Hiele Welt. The staff was friendly and helpful, as we asked questions about how to get around. It wasn’t that exciting there, so I conviced my friend to go to a rock n roll bar I knew about, called Wild at Heart. A lot of American bands I’m friends with have played there, so I have heard about this place repeatedly and wanted to check it out. I didn’t know until we got there, that there’s a cute little tiki bar attached to it, and a store underneath. The night we showed up, there was a Psychobilly show going on, and we saw a band that I really loved called The Tony Montanas. They’re from Germany, and their singer plays the drums while standing up and singing simultaneously. They were really great. I’ve always thought it to be extremely difficult to play drums and sing, and he was brilliant at it. They were really high energy and all very talented and tight. The guitarist ripped and sang backup, and they also have stand up bass. My friend had never heard Psychobilly music and he really liked it too. I was thrilled to happen upon a great band, just by chance on a random night in Berlin. The next day, my terrible cold had finally gone from bad to worse, and I decided to stay in all day and hope for the best. Marty ventured out to try to find me medicine, and came back 3 hours later with German pills he said a pharmacist sold him. I didn’t know what they were, but I took them the rest of the trip. I was so sick at this point, that I figured I had severe bronchitis or walking pnomenia, and I was pleading with the gods that I wouldn’t end up in a foreign hospital. This was not going to keep me from going out every night, because I was in Europe damnit, and I didn’t want to let my travel companion down either. I still went out that night to a gay disco (which will remain nameless) and also back to the Wild at Heart, then back to the gay disco. I have to tell you, I had a couple of funny moments at this gay disco. First, when we came in, they were playing that really repetitve electronic dance music that you often hear in the gay scene that seems like the same song is playing for hours. Since we were in Berlin, I figured this kind of music was more prevalent there than in the states. Just as my friend and I are complaing about the music, the funniest song ever comes on! It was Billy Idol’s White Wedding, but it was the gayest techno dance mix that I’ve ever heard of a Billy Idol song. I love Billy Idol, and since this was so ludacris, I went to the middle of the dance floor and joined the crowd. It was so funny, I almost died right there. I wish someone could have filmed me in this moment in the middle of a sea of men, wearing a Latex (rubber) bustier, high heeled dominatrix boots, pin striped bondage capri pants and a bullet belt, with a long blonde (barbie) wig, rocking out with the boys to the gayest Billy Idol song ever! Then the night got even weirder. I went downstairs to the toilets, but accidentally happened upon a seedy gay underworld. It was freaky to me, since the club upstairs seemed completely normal, but downstairs was totally another scene. It was super dark and smoky, and when I went to the toilet, a guy poked his head over the stall, and I’m sure he was dissapointed I was female. I went back upsairs to get my gay guy friend to go down and access my suspicions. It turns out there was a maze of guys having sex down there. I thought as much, by the way the men all looked very guilty and were circling around in a suspicious manner. I’m not naïve, and have had so many gay friends over the years that this kind of thing wasn’t shocking to me. I was, however, really surprised that it was happening under the disco club. It was odd and interesting… and next, there’s Prague. PRAGUE: My first night in Prague, I discovered about 15 loud, funny Englishmen were staying in our hotel having a stag weekend. I had only just the day before seen a UK Terlevision show that made me aware of what stag night is for Englishmen. They all take out the guy who is to be married, and they try to humialiate him as much as possible. It’s so mean, but so funny! These guys had their friend in sort of a nurse in bondage costume, with a pillow underneath and a dog collar. I could not resist having my photo taken with them! My friend and I read something about a drag club, only in Prague they call it a Travestie show. We went to check it out, and it was so tame compared to what the shows are like in San Francisco. One “travestie” actually performed Shania Twain’s “I feel like a woman,” and that damn song was stuck in my head the next day! The prettiest “travestie” told us about local clubs, and off we went to check them out. The gay club that we went to several times over the next few nights was called Valentinos. We had a lot of fun there. It was full of good-looking young people, both gay and straight. Of the entire Europe trip, I’d have to say the cutest guys were at this club. People were nice and friendly, and we enjoyed it there. I decided to check out the big straight club, Duplex, and I thought it was terrible! Within seconds of walking in, a guy tried to get me to go with him to a private area because he said I was the best girl in the whole club. It was flattering, but I wasn’t interested, and I hoped there were better guys in the club! All the guys were ugly and there were these scantilly clad girls dancing on risers, which is fine by me, but it seemed to cause all the men there to act extra stupid! This place was the worst. It was the reason I sometimes prefer hanging out with the gays! I was so bored by the bad music and the slimy men that I decided to call it a night. My first full day in Prague, I wandered around the tourist area, which was like a town square with castle or cathedral-like buildings all around it. All the buildings are intrticate and beautiful, which I had also thought was the case in Paris. Because Easter was approaching, they had a daily street festival where food, drink, and merchandise were sold. They had a live band, a lot of scary looking puppets, T-shirts, and authentic Czeck foods. My absolute favorite discovery was hot wine… hot mulled, spiced red wine. I loved it, and it cost the equivalent of about 60 cents! I wandered around until I came upon a tattoo shop with a clothing store attached, and I went in to check it out. I was looking for rock and roll shows, and ended up finding a flyer telling me The Tony Montanas, who I’d seen a few nights before in Berlin, were playing in Prague that night. I was  happy about it, since I liked them and figured my kind of crowd would be there. I went to the show alone, not knowing if there would be people who spoke English; and was surprised and pleased to find the girl at the door not only spoke English, but had moved to Prague from San Francisco. I chatted with her for a while and found out she promotes shows there and has booked many bands I know. I thought she would be a great addition for our website and asked her if she’d be interested in writing about Prague for us. It turns out she was interested, and the Coolgrrrls have since voted her in, so we have a new Coolgrrrl correspondent for Prague. The Tony Montanas were awesome again; and since they also spoke English, I ended up hanging out with them for a while after the show. I was really impressed with the band, and hope they can come play the states sometime in the near future. Their website is in German www.tonymontanas.de, but you can also check them out on myspace: myspace.com/tonymontanas My last day in Prague was cold and rainy, and made me even more aware of how sick I was. My friend and I had met another American living in Prague who offered to take us to dinner at an authentic Czeck restaurant. Since I don’t eat red meat or pork, I ordered trout. We were all completely freaked out that it came to the table and seemed to be looking at us! It was so gross! The Japanese tourists next to us had their waitress photograph it. I made my friend fillet it for me, and I ate it. I mean, I eat fish, and although I don’t want to see it served this way, I don’t want to burn money because I’m a princess; so I ate it. It was fine. Later, since it was my last night in Prague, I went to a few more places, even though I didn’t feel well. I went to a Harley bar and a straight bar that was totally lame. Since I was sick and would have to get up at 4am to fly back to London in order to get back home, I turned in earlier than every night for the 2 weeks of my travels. I wanted to make it home in one piece, which I did… just barely! The day after I got home, I made a doctor appointment. I was coughing so hard as I got into the shower to get ready to go to the doctor, that my back snapped! Not only was I deathly sick, but now my back was out! I winced my way to the doctor anyway and was put on antibiodics, muscle relaxers, and painkillers… and then I had to go back to work! I have hated my job for the whole year and a half that I’ve been there, and having to go back after this trip was more torturous than the job already has been! I finally had to take steps to get out of the miserable situation I was in, and I did! A week or two after returning from Europe, I left the company, and I am so thrilled!