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Back to the Future with Scotland’s national treasure!

I got an e-mail from the faithful Scoots, who is always looking out for my best interests, saying that The Rezillos were coming to the US! I immediately began hounding every booking agent like a wild pig sniffs out truffles. By the time I track down the booing information – EVERY show and slot in our area is filled – except one – The Court Tavern! Our old friends. I hound the booker there to no end. I call the guy who is booking the tour as I helped him with info for a book many years ago. The minute he starts hedging on the show, Kitty gets rabid, shows her claws and reminds him how I opened my personal contacts to him when I didn’t know him from a hole in the wall and he’d better put out! This is very unlike me but The Rezillos are coming from Scotland after 20 years and there is no way in HELL I am not playing with them. It is NOT an option!! I never had the chance to see them! I got their record when I was 14, and by then, Jo Callis had run off to join The Human League! I even missed The Revillos, which was Fay Fife and Eugene Reynolds’ band after The Rezillos. This is a chance for me to make good! Everyone agrees – you guys are PERFECT for a Rezillos show! Check out their web site and see why: http://www.snatzo.com/revillos/welcome.htm

We also hear they are touring with The Briefs from Seattle, and even the Briefs aren’t playing with them on the Brooklyn show, so we weasel our way onto the Brownie’s bill with the Briefs two days before the NJ show, just to find out any Rezillos secrets. Out own coolgrrrl Melody Liscious is playing the Brooklyn show with them with her band The Gore Gore girls. It figures, the first time her band comes here, I am playing the same night! I also tell her, “You are SO lucky you get to play with the Rezillos on that show!” She asks, “Who are the Rezillos?” I am ready to faint!

The night of our Brownie’s Show, we get there for sound check, and smartly, those guys don’t hang out. I DID get to hang out with Julien of Moler fame! He was in town and was glad he had the chance to see us! He crashed with us and was very excited about the show, but was going to be gone by Sunday. We go one early, so I think only one of them was there to se us. I’m two days away from getting my big chance to meet the Rezillos. Talking to some Briefs guys after the show, I had to grill them: “What is it like?! Are they great? Are they nice?!” The answers are all yes, but they are not the gushing fan I am, I think, and are slim on the details. Or they are way cooler than me and don’t show it! I would give my eyeteeth to be the Briefs for this tour! I even bought tix to try to see The Rezillos after our show, but the timing wasn’t right. Melody left me a message that we are on the list, but we our sets were back to back and I could not have made it in time! Arrrgh! I have all my gear and no car, so I’m stuck.

So, it’s Sunday, the night of our big show, and I have nightmares the night before – we miss the show, we can’t get to the gig, none of our gear works, we lose our gear. These are the kids of dreams you get before you go back to school and you dream you walk into class naked. Our drummer is coming separately, our gear got stolen a few weeks before at the Coolgrrrls.com party, so we are wingin’ it by borrowing stuff. I pack all my gear, bring my wallet with all this money to buy merch and debate bringing ALL my Rezillos stuff for them to sign. I don’t want to look too dorky. Especially since I have almost EVERY 7″ they ever made, including the misprints and a couple of add imports (besides the UK that is).

We get there and I see the poster with the famous Rezillos comic book graphics and it has our name on it too! Yay! It’s really happening!!! We go to set up our gear, and put everything together, and realize one of the pieces that was stolen from the Drum Hardware we need for the rack tom – and we brought a whole set of hardware! We bought another stand to try to make it work, but it won’t! Hell! What can we do? I see a stand that the Briefs are using that would work, and go to ask a big favor. “Can we borrow this?” “Gee, I don’t know…” come s the tentative answer, “We are sharing gear with The Rezillos and I don’t know if it’s OK.” I am about to faint – again! Granted, these dudes are NOT required to bail our sorry asses out BUT a drum stand is NOT the kind of thing that even the gnarliest drummers ever break during a set. There are SOME pieces to a drum kit that asking to borrow is like asking to borrow someone underwear or a used condom, but this is NOT one of them. Shit. What will we do? After much convincing that we are not TOTAL losers and will NOT trash the stand, they relent. We even had to duct tape the rack to m to it to make sure it wouldn’t fall off. This show will go on no matter what!!!!

The show is on! And a new Kowalski nickname is born! I was trying to say that Mike Hunt was like Ace Frehley circa 1975. What came out was, and this guy is like “Ace Freakus…” Everyone started laughing. Little nervous are we? So, he is now – Ace Freakus. We had a great show and there were a lot of people there for our set. It was total fun. The Rezillos didn’t see us, but I didn’t really care too much. They might even beat me up for stealing half their act. I was just happy to be there. We also sold a lot of merch! Our Pussy Rules shirts go over big. Even the Briefs were surprised when they finally saw us! “You’re good!” , they say, almost in shock. I’m sure they have had a lot of CRAPPY support bands.

So I whip out my money and start grabbing up the Rezillos merch – all their T –shirts are COOL! I man the merch table and start drinking as any sensible girl would after a show like that! The Rezillos are on, and I abandon it and whip out the camera. The crowd goes crazy. Who can sit still to their music – you HAVE to at least bop! So in the bopping crowd I go! Get right up front for some photos. I’m moving in the Crowd, and one enthusiastic pogo-er gives my camera a whack! It does flying onto the floor – and people are going nuts. I have this vision of it being stomped and exposing my film. We get it off the beer-drenched floor, and it’s totally broken. Guru Kowalski, our tech, sees my face and gives it a few whacks and gets it into working order again.

The Rezillos played EVERYTHING off their “Can’t Stand The Rezillos” album except, “Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In,” and “Mystery Action”, I think. I also wanted to hear some Revillos – like “Where’s the Boy for me?”, but no… They may have played “Can’t Stand my baby” twice – once as an encore.

This is too much for words! I’m drunk, sweaty, my camera half works and I don’t care! We are loading out the gear and the promoter hands me $0, embarrassed. I don’t care – this dude made my life come true! Thanks, Dennis! He really pushed for us! ALL the people at that show, and some of them saw ALL THREE area Rezillos shows, said ours was the best. They were like, “The Kowalskis was the perfect band to play with The Briefs and The Rezillos! This was the best show by far!” Okay, so I’m NOT crazy! I knew if people would see it, that they would realize we are the PERFECT support band for The Rezillos! YAY! I am vindicated!

Now, we go to the Booker. I was really loaded, but I’m NOT leaving until I get to meet The Rezillos. I said something like, “Take me to them NOW!” He said, “They’re in the office.” I was like, “I don’t care! I must meet them!” He seemed to act like we would be bothering them, and guess what – we would be! I said, “We got paid $40! The LEAST you can do is take us up there.” He relents, and we go up this mysterious staircase to the office. They were sweaty and tired, but were friendly and cool about it. I was like, “We’ll get out your hair right away, and we just wanted to say hi, thanks for the show and all that”. They let us stay. The bartender gave us a pitcher of shots and passed them out to everyone. I think we did two and started getting stupid with the camera. By the time we are done with our sh0ts, and, well, our other shots (photos that is) I sit myself down next to Faye. Now, Faye Fife is someone that I modeled myself after somewhat. I am a Frankenstein Monster of all my musical loves, but I have to say, she would be my heart. I start rambling nonsense – the shots are kicking in! I start rambling how music is my life and I’m so glad they are still around and I don’t know what I would do without music and I’ll do this until I’m 60, and God didn’t put me here to work in a freakin’ office, etc, etc.…drunk talk. My one big conversation, and I’m a babbling moron.

I fell asleep on the way home – SUPER CRASH – with visions of sugarplums in my head. This was the best Christmas EVER – and it’s not even Christmas. I lost about $400 in cash that night to boot – some lucky bastard got it, but not before I got my fill of Rezillos stuff. I sleep with my shirt every night.

I did a LOT this summer and went to a LOT of shows, so I’ll write that up next!